So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
