haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just found puke in my bra..
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
