I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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