If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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