It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Hippo gnu deer
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
