We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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