I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Are we still banned from the library?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
