in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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