i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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