I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
