the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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