It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
