If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
