Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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