also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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