You're so nebulous sometimes
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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