Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
