I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
