At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You smell like stripper and shame
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
