it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
