sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
