you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
