That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
