Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
