You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
