you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
