another moral hangover. fuck.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My feet surprised me
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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