It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Randomize
