i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Say something about gay babies.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
