Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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