that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
