Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
