and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
