apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Everclear isn't food dammit
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
