I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
