farters have to be the big spoon...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
