One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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