my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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