living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
