im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
