**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
