Barsexuality is the new black.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
