I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
