every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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