First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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