Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
