I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
