oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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