What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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