I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
