you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
