Your face is a jimmy john
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
