You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
