sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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