I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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