She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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