; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Too much gin, very little bucket
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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