3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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